Time Passes

I find it hard to believe I'm now 64. And even harder to believe my wife is almost 65 and harder still to think that we have been married 40 years. I have no great insights into any of these things All I can say is that time just passes so swiftly and like Pink Floyd said all those years ago one day you'll find ten years have got behind you.Or in my case 50 plus years.

2021

It's Birthday week in this house. Tomorrow my daughter is 28. That's hard to believe. Even harder to believe is that on Thursday my son reaches 30. Both these birthday make me feel extremely old. I am also a feeling at a bit of a loss now when it comes to giving advice to my son. When I turned 30 I had been married to his Mum for 5 years we were both in good permanent jobs and had a mortgage for 7 years and he had been born a month earlier. I feel that my life experiences post 30 are so different to what he will face as a single man living in a rented house share in the East End of this city that I've got nothing of relevance to say to him anymore. But I will carry on trying to give wise fatherly advice which he will for the most part ignore.So nothing different there. I shouldn't worry should I. . .

Long (Hot) Summer

Well, bloody hell, what a year this is. It's hard to believe what has happened since Lockdown in March. Actually it's hard to believe that lockdown happened. I was sent home on the 23rd March with a laptop and a cheery give us a ring if you have any probems by my manager and the IT team. I was one of the lucky ones who got a laptop and didn't end up with their work Desktop Pc and monitor and a dongle to connect to the work servers. And here I am almost 5 months later sat at the dining table working from home until Christmas, possibly never to return to the Office. It feels hard already to think back to late March and April to how bleak it was, and even this month, stood in a queue to get into Ikea ( don't ask) I couldn't quite understand what the hell was going on. At least I'm not the only one as quite clearly the Government has no idea what is going on either as they have demonstrated time and time again over this Summer. There are some positives to this for me. I don't have to make small talk in the office with a lot of idiots. That is a big bonus. I have been able to run more too- which is a good thing because I have been eating more. And I have been around to support my wife more as she goes through another reorganisation at work which is leading albeit slowly to redundancy. I persuaded her to rejoin a union earlier this year after many years of not being a member and that has turned out to be one of my rare moments of foresight as the company go through the management team trying to pick off the ones they don't want. There are downsides too, boredom being one of them but I can't help feeling I've been lucky through all this.

2020

Hard to believe it's now 2020. Back when I was a young boy the thought of living until 2020 was unbelievable. Now we are here it feels like the last 50 years have gone by as quickly as fast forwarding a film on Iplayer or Sky. This thought has hit me a bit this year. Age is only a number I know but later on this year I hit 59 and my wife turns 60. Those are fucking big numbers.

Not that long ago my wife could have retired on a full pension now she will have to wait until she is 66.

It's Christmas

I am not a Christmas super fan. I mostly enjoy it but I would never have it in a Top Ten Highlights of the year selection. Not that I'd ever get asked.

But Christmas this year for me is a bit of a washed out affair. And it shouldn't be. My son has returned home for a while and my daughter is home for the festivities from New Zealand. Even so , family problems ( on the wife's side) and the trouncing Labour got at the election has put a real downer on this year's celebrations.

This isn't the place to go into my wife's soured relationship with her parents and her sister and her husband but it has been a long time coming and the blame lies on all sides. I am just a sometimes bemused bystander thinking that if they only kept their opinion to themselves they would still be talking to each other, like my family. I have little time for my older brother and only occasionally speak to him, normally at times of crises with the parents. I speak to my younger sister more but not regularly. I speak to my Mum ( Dad never answers the phone) about once a week and see them about 4/5 times a year that's all. Politically and culturally we are miles apart, but we all skirt round each other in conversation and I rarely challenge them, except on their casual racism and ignorance on refugees and asylum seekers and the NHS and Housing which I do know a lot about. They know this so rarely bring the subject up. Is that hypocritical?.Yes of course it is but at least we all still talk to each other on the couple of occasions a year we get together. Unlike my wife and her family who aren't speaking at all since last Christmas..

I didn't campaign for Labour at the election , there was little chance of Newcastle Central going Tory and work and lack of holiday precluded me from campaigning in the marginals in the North East. My son did campaign here and in London and said from Day One Labour would lose. Brexit and Corbyn being the main reasons and to a much lesser extent (and ONLY in the seats on the outskirts of London) anti Semitism in the party. This leaves all of us who rejoined the Party to get Corbyn elected with a dilemma. Do we stay and fight for Corbyn MKII or do we just quietly cancel the Direct Debits and move on back to the wilderness licking our wounds. In the last 40 years there has only been 13 years of a Labour Government and I can't help feeling that this election it was a bit like turkeys voting for Christmas here in the North East. But you can't think like that.

The conclusion I draw from the defeat , and the one I have been drawing for myself since 1979, is that our electoral system is not fit for purpose. I hope the Party's review of their failure leads them to accept this and we ( if I stay a member) start to campaign for proportional representation. Sign the petition at The Electoral Reform society website and give us a chance of having a Government that represents everyone not just a minority.

Autumn Almanack

Another random update to while away a Friday afternoon.I ran the Kielder Marathon in the pouring rain and finished in 5:17:25. Now this is still slow but timewise it was my fourth fastest marathon of the last three years and 6 minutes faster than the last time I ran round the reservoir in 2011. Consequently I was pretty pleased with myself as I sat with a cup of tea and a Vegan flapjack ( baked by the local WI) waiting for my running buddy, Andy to finish in his slowest ever marathon time. I was however put in my place by another running mate Ed who finished in 4:30. Not a record breaking time but Ed is 70.

I only have a 10k in December so Kielder was my last distance run of the year. Another up and down year of running , a poor Spring marathon in Copenhagen, a good 10 mile run around Northumberland in August and return to form Great North Run in September. But it all means that I have not really made much improvement in times or performance. I need to rethink my running goals and strategy for next year.

Outside of running, work remains the same, that is, tedious. Some Friday's I leave the office dreading the return on Monday. it can almost ruin the weekend.And that isn't me. Bills and mortgage prevent me from jacking it all in as well as sheer bloody mindedness. It doesn't help that my boss is useless. And I am 58, not that old but old enough to be most of my colleagues' Dad. That is sometimes hard to deal with. At least I get well paid for it.

Football wise Peterborough seem to be mounting a real promotion push this year, but I am refusing to get involved. I have only been once this season and don't intend to get overexcited this time round. I will see if I can maintain this detached position if we are top of the League come next February.

Music wise it has been a good year so far , Embrace, Suede, Billy Bragg, Sharon Van Etten and St Etienne. I did miss The Wedding Present though as we were away in Norfolk

My son is currently at home after returning from Poland. He has got overexcited at the prospect of a general election and is disappearing back down to London to campaign in Chingford to support the strong local Labour attempt to unseat Ian Duncan Smith. Talking about Universal Credit that benefit continues to bring misery and uncertainty to claimants here 3 years after it was first introduced in Newcastle. Apart from the still lengthy wait for new claimants and the capricious application of sanctions,structurally the benefit is fundamentally flawed. Here's hoping for a Labour Victory in December. although I am not getting overexcited about that either. My daughter remains in New Zealand but is returning in December for a month. It will be only the third time in four years we have physically seen her, although the internet means we are in touch almost daily.

I really don't like this time of year after the clocks have gone back. A brief respite of lighter mornings but soon get up in the dark, go to work in the dark and leave work in the dark, home in the dark. Dark, dark, dark. It's shit.

Long Distance Runner

I mentioned Copenhagen marathon in my last blog. Well, my time was frankly shit at 5:34:45 , my second slowest time ever. However this time I have a real excuse as I have been suffering from a proper running injury for months now. A real excuse that is as opposed to the usual lack of training excuse.

I have plantar fasciitis in my left heel. Bloody hell it's painful. This meant I started the Marathon in pain and finished it in even more pain. But like the hard long distance runner I am , I still completed it and beat my running buddy too!!!

Of course this has meant that ,apart from the Blaydon Race,I haven't run in 5 weeks. I wouldn't have run at all but I wasn't wasting my entry for the Blaydon, not after spending 3 hours on my phone, laptop and Kindle one evening earlier this year in order to get a place. That run was painful too, only not as much and I finished the 5.4 miles in 50:49. which is a good time for me.

I finally gave in and spent 42 quid on physio assessment and my heel is slowly getting better.I have had a couple of pain free days this last week so I intend to start running again soon.

A friend on my completed the 69 mile race along Hadrians Wall a couple of weeks ago. That's my aim for next year.

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It's Spring Again

As the weather warms up, well apart from yesterday when we had snow here in North East England, thoughts turn to the end of the football season and spring marathons. Peterborough started really well then faded really badly and now sit on the edge of the Play Off places in League One. Darren Ferguson is back ( third time lucky) and who knows what will happen now. I've seen them a few times this season and we haven't looked good.

This year's overseas marathon is in Denmark, Copenhagen to be precise. Hoping to get back to faster times and enjoying the run and fingers crossed it wont be in the high 20Cs temperature wise.

Autumn 2018

Another long delayed post. Now,as the weather turns after an improbably long hot summer, seems as good as any time to commit some thoughts to the Blog.

Life is pretty much as it was. My daughter is now in New Zealand working on a dairy farm and trying to get sponsorship to stay on the other side of the world on a permanent basis. We have only seen her twice in nearly three years. Of course the internet means she is never out of contact but sometime I just miss her presence. Out of the blue last night my wife said she missed our daughter with such a poignancy it made me sad. It looks like we will have to go out to see her next year.

My son's long term relationship is now over and he is coming to terms with that. It hasn't been easy for him to progress but there are signs that he is moving on.

There has been a lot of illness in the family over the last few years, cancer and heart problems for the wife's parents and our brother in law. It does make you realise how fragile life is and how it can take an unexpected turn without notice. You just have to go with flow and try and deal with it all and accept that for a lot of things you are not in control. A hard lesson for some.

I ran the Stockholm marathon in June this year finishing in my 2nd slowest time of 5:42. It was unusually hot which is a theme for my international marathons since Paris. Stockholm is a lovely city and the Swedish people were helpful, considerate and all spoke perfect English. I would recommend a visit.

I have a further marathon around Newcastle's Town Moor in November and I am panning to run Copenhagen next May although I must admit I sort of lost the passion for running post Stockholm. This loss of passion resulted in under training and disastrous 20th GNR finish time of 2:38:33. This time means I will be in the fun runner pen come next September's GNR, competing with the blokes with tutus on or dressed as s Spiderman. Nothing wrong with that but it's just not me.

My passion for running was rekindled by the Kielder half marathon earlier this month which I finished in 2:22:45. Still slow but that run is hard with a wicked switchback hill at mile 8 and long slow inclines which are real tests. The run is a cross between a cross country/trail road run and different experience for most of the runners. I completed a 15 mile training run on Sunday and plan to finish the Town Moor Marathon matching last year's time of 5:10. We shall see.

Music wise it has been an OK year. Paul Weller,The Wedding Present in Newcastle Upon Tyne and The Cure at Hyde Park. The Cure were great it was only the second time I'd seen them , the first time being 1979.

Peterborough United continue to delight and frustrate in equal measures but hopefully this season with a whole new squad and manager we will finally recover from the hangover of relegation from the Championship on the last day of the season that has been hanging over us for 5 years now.

Well that's it.See you again , soon.

Mark E Smith

I never really listened that much to The Fall but whenever I did I liked what I heard but I don't own much of their stuff.Even so the fact that Mark E Smith has died is still something I feel sad about. You can hear his influence on a lot of bands around now as well as in the past and of course he did do things his own way which is always something to be admired.

He was only three years old than me (the same age as my brother)and his death is a reminder of how old I really am now.

June 2017

A rare post from me these days. I ran Stirling Marathon on 21/05/17 in 5:05:17 a bit slow but an enjoyable run.

We stayed at Cooks Hotel , a small rather expensive hotel but handily placed for the train station.

Music wise it has been quiet, The Wedding present and Saint Etienne are the only bands I have seen in the last eighteen months.

Morpeth2Newcastle

Another marathon done. Slightly slower at 4:52. Not bad considering the sole of one of my trainers decided to disintegrate at mile 20. The weather was kind, dry, no wind. It wouldn't have been much fine running from Blyth to Tynemouth in a howling wind. That's marathons finished for 2016.
I forgot to mention Explosions In The Sky at the Sage. Truly wonderful.

Adventures In A Yorkshire Landscape

Another October Sunday. Another Marathon.
This time it was Yorkshire's turn.An early start a drive down to an old airfield for the park and ride for the run. A double decker bus full of excited runners , the pungent aroma of Deep Heat strong enough to make your eyes water, a sprint across the campus to the start and I was off down into York.We ran past York Minster as the bells were ringing and out into the countryside we went. At Stockton On The Forest , I high fived the Vicar as he stood by the roadside in full Sunday regalia as he intoned " God bless you all". Well its part of this marathon's story.
The run went well and it was my fastest in this post 50 series at 4:46:44. Maybe God did bless us all?

RIP BIlly Franks

Another hero dead. Billy was the force behind The Faith Brothers in the 80's He continued playing and recording, his last album "Far Cry From Sunset" released only a few months ago.

Always passionate always political and positive despite his health.

One Year Later

I thought it must be a year since I last posted anything and it is over a year. Setting up this Blog was my way of telling the world what I wanted to say and to act as a sort of documentation ( a Diary if you must) of my life as it changed when my eldest went off to Uni.

Fact is I ran out of steam after a couple of years and once the motivation is gone it is hard to get it back. Also the rather sad realization had dawned that my life is fucking boring and what talent as a writer I thought I had was exhausted in those first two years.

Anyway, things are still very much the same. Music wide it has been a busy year (for me). The Wedding Present, Paul Heaton & Jacqui Abbott, The Manic Street Preachers,Bryan Ferry and Paco Pena. Got Explosions In The Sky to look forward to and Teenage Fanclub too.

Still running. Paris Marathon in April. My time was my worst ever at 5:50. Shouldn't have run it really as I had been quite ill for a few weeks leading up to it with a cold/flu/virus and a niggling knee injury. But I did it anyway and enjoyed the occasion.

Peterborough United have been both frustrating and poor but I still go as often as I can afford. we got a new dog, another Patterdale. The house was too big and empty without a dog.

My daughter is six months into a trip to Australia. We both miss her but Facebook Messenger and WhatsApp mean we are in daily contact.

Work wise I'm back in the West End of the City after a 17 year absence. This is the most multi cultural part of the Town and the only part that in anyway resembles London. I only live 1 and a half miles away from where I work and my area is pretty mixed but here in Benwell it is like a different country. Poor and scruffy and neglected but you can buy food and products from across Eastern Europe and the World. As a Londoner in exile for 25 years its a bit like coming home.

Six Months Later

Where is the year going? A difficult six months. First off the election. Tories back in, on their own. Who would have thought that? And then there is my wife's redundancy. End of September so not long to go.
Music wise, saw Placebo. They were good but too much from their latest album which isn't my favourite.

I have a new puppy, I missed my last dog too much and eventually gave in to the wife and daughter. Another Patterdale but a black and tan one who isn't as vicious as his predecessor.

Work wise it's tedious, I am hanging around for redundancy now.

I ran the Prague Marathon in May in 5:15 but made good friends with a guy who lives near me who was running as well. I did Gateshead 10k last Sunday in a very disappointing 60:54, over
3 minutes slower than 2013.

Football wise I didn't see Posh at all last season will do better this season coming.

I'll also try and post some more

First Aid Kit

Hello and a belated Happy New Year.

After a pretty barren 2014 music wise I have decided that this year I will go to a few gigs.Last night,accompanied by my daughter I saw First Aid Kit at Newcastle City Hall.
It was an excellent gig, good venue for the vocal harmony soft country rock they play.The light show was impressive.Support was from Kimberley Anne who wad good in a Joan Armatrading, Tracy Chapman way. The audience was a mix of young bearded hipsters, old uns like me and young professionals.What you'd expect really.

They played their cover of Simon and Garfunkel's America and my own favourite, their own song Emmy Lou.

All in all I had a great time. No new ground was being broken but to hear good honest well played and sung music is always a joy. Next up for me ,unless something else catches my eye, is Placebo at O2 Academy

The Parent Trap

It has been a funny old year in terms of both the kids and music (not so much the wife).



Both my son and daughter are now back at home. Having one of them back is not so bad but the two of them together is not a situation I wanted and it has met my ( low) expectations of being quite difficult. It’s difficult because neither me nor my wife is quite sure how to treat them. They are both adults and have lived independently but they are both still our children and the natural tendency is to parent them. These attempts to advise and guide them in their life choices (ha!) is classed as interference and any questions and suggestions are met with sullen and hostile answers and an air of why are they asking me this. Funnily enough this is how they reacted as teenagers to our attempts to parent them and thus perpetuates, at least in our eyes, the feeling that they are still children and need to be parented. In addition to this they don’t really get on with each other, which again is a continuation of how it was when they were growing up, so we end up intervening when they argue. See its complicated isn’t it.



We have a cooking rota and cleaning rota so in another sense it’s like a house share. Neither the parent approach nor the house share approach is satisfactory for me or my wife. I love both my son and daughter to bits but me and the wife had a nice quiet easy routine which has been turned on its head by them moving back and if I’m honest we wish they would both leave.



We don’t understand why they want to live at home anyway after being away at Uni. We didn’t go back home and lived in shit expensive rented accommodation rather than go back home. All we get is we can’t afford it it’s different now not like your day when it was easy to get jobs and places to live. Our retort is there were 3 million people unemployed when we graduated and we lived in cockroach and mice infested council and private rented shitholes and still survived.



Have we made it too easy for them?



My relationship with music has shifted this year. I passed up the opportunity to go and see two of my favourite bands this year and I’m not sure why. It wasn’t as if I would have had to travel to get to the gigs. They were both in my town in easily accessible venues. I even had tickets for one of the gigs but on the night I just couldn’t summon up any enthusiasm to go.



I’ve been thinking about it because although it is a cliché , music was my first love and has meant so much to me over the years and the bands I love have influenced and defined me as a person for such a long time, this change is a big deal in my life.



Perhaps I’ve finally grown up? I don’t know.

Round Up

Well here we are. The clocks have gone back bringing the months of darkness.

I did Kielder 10k in 59.38. I was pleased with this time it is a bastard of a course. My Amsterdam Marathon time was a bit of a disappointment at 4:56:01. I finished in good physical condition, no pain but I had no energy from mile 23.

Outside of this my son is back at home and has a job on a local business park. It's hard having the house full again . We aren't quite sure how to treat them. As children or as adults?

Sadly we had to have our dog put down. He had cancer. He died in my arms. I miss him

GNR Blues

Did my 16th Great North Run yesterday. I put in a disappointing 2:14:02.And to make it worse, I wasn't even the Millionth Finisher.

I'm not sure what went wrong I've trained and I was well up for it. It was hot though and I don't like running in the heat. Miles 5 to 10 were hard.

This year my disappointment at my time was made worse by a guy in my new much bigger office who, having just turned 50, did it in 1:40. To be fair he didn't crow about it. So today has been a bit flat for me.

My next challenge is the Kielder 10k in 4 weeks time. I signed up for this in in a flush of excitement earlier in the Summer. Now I'm not so sure that doing a bastard hilly run in a wet and cold North Northumberland two weeks before the Amsterdam Marathon was a good idea.