Thick as Thieves

Back in the 80’s The Wedding Present sang “You Should Always Keep In Touch With Your Friends” and I remember thinking “Yeah, you should”. Although, of course I didn’t and haven’t.

My wife’s recent redundancy and the impact that this had on her friendship with two colleagues she thought she was close to has had me musing on the nature of friendship over the last few weeks. One of these friends has dropped my wife like a hot brick and quickly moved onto the new “gang”. A few other things have happened as well which has set me thinking and remembering.

The Jam song, the title of this post, is from their 4th album Setting Sons released in the autumn of 1979. I was 18 and I had left my small town on the outskirts of London to go to University in Manchester. I had been looking forward to leaving home and I was having a good time making new friends and, unconsciously, starting to let go of my school friendships.
It took a few years but by the early 1980’s I had next to no contact with my hometown friends. Some of them had gone off to Uni so were probably in the same position as me but some had left school to go to work and they were still at home and mostly close to my parent’s so really I didn’t have any excuse in letting their friendships die. But I did. And so did they.
And we really were as Thick as Thieves. We grew up together, got girlfriends together – well some of us did-, got into trouble together, went to gigs together, got drunk together, took drugs together (even ones that sent us to sleep.I remember one visit home in my first year when my friend Simon- who was working in the local hip record shop on his year out before going to Uni- found some pills in a batch of records. They were blue and we thought they were speed so we each took two in the local pub washing it down with a pint of bitter). They weren’t speed we discovered.

I got home late that Saturday evening and spent all the next day asleep not getting up until the evening. My parents were a bit bemused that their son who had come down for the weekend to see them had spent all day in bed. I had to make some excuse up about not feeling well.

Years later by which time we were living in London, I was sorting out my LPs and I pulled out the Setting Sons album for the first time for ages and played it and Thick As Thieves almost reduced me to tears.

Of course in those pre mobile phone and internet days it was much easier to let go. Nowadays you have less of an excuse. But I still do.

I can see my son struggling with same dilemma now. He is back up this weekend to say goodbye to his home town mates who are off on their Gap year travels. They are gone for 4 months travelling before they disperse across the country in September. Will he keep in touch with them? I don’t know. I will urge him to but I know he probably won’t listen to his old man.

Someone we both knew very well at University got in contact with us recently via Facebook. The first contact we have had in 20 years. I think we are all getting to that age when we look back and wonder what happened? Where did the last 20 years go? Why did we make those choices? Looking to make contact again with people who fell along the pathway of our lives.

I got a text at the weekend from my friend Mick who emigrated (I think I can say that now) to Belgium with his family last year. It was his new mobile number. He is settling in and trying to get to grips with the Flemish It reminded me that I need to maintain that friendship.

Two songs for you. The first is that Jam song. Weller was still a teenager when he wrote this. Hard to believe really. The second is an updated take on the theme from Jamie T.It's cruder in tone but just as effective nonetheless.

Enjoy them and the perhaps take time to make that phone call, text or send that e mail to that friend who you haven’t heard from in a while.

Here’s to you, Mike, Steve, Tony, Simon, Colin, Mark, Gary, Sue, Cleone, Richard and everyone else I have let go. If by chance any of you read this, get in touch via the email address. How are things in your world?